Don't Feel Like It

Sometimes I don't feel like going to class. I go anyways. But when I get there, I cringe at the thought of warm ups and trudge out onto the mat for grappling like a kid being dragged off to school. Feeling like that isn't the norm for me.

I've been dealing with a small health problem over the last six months or so. I kept getting sick. Nothing major. Low grade fever, cough, runny nose, achy joints--your regular flu-like symptoms. The main problem was how often I was getting sick; every couple of weeks.

Several doctor's visits, lab work-ups and antibiotic trials later, my doctor decided my immune system might be having trouble because I wasn't getting enough sleep. That seemed probable to me, since I wake up between 5-8 times a night and never really get into a deep sleep. So, she prescribed me a sleeping pill called Ambien.

Things went well at first. I slept through the night and woke up refreshed in the morning. But about a few months into taking the pill, I started having some problems. I started feeling down all the time. Mopey. It wasn't that I didn't have energy. I just felt apathetic and unmotivated. I didn't really want to see anyone or do anything. I was just feeling really depressed. When I wasn't depressed, I was highly emotional; crying at the drop of a hat or losing my temper over little things that normally wouldn't bother me.

My husband was the one who made the connection between my sudden depression and the Ambien. Since then, I've been weaning myself off the drug. New side effects from stopping the meds have cropped up. Headaches, irritability, etc. And I am still feeling general malaise, though it's been lessening. I have confidence that these things will subside soon after I the medicine out of my system, which could take up to a month.

But my life can't stop just because I don't feel like facing it. I have to get out of bed and take care of my family and do my job. Well, I suppose I don't HAVE to. I could just quit everything and lay in bed all day. But where would that get me? Into a worse position than I was originally.

The same is true of persevering in training situations. We don't feel like doing our cardio for the day. Or we don't feel like going to class. Maybe we feel like having a whole bunch of junk food or just vegging out instead of getting in some strength training. We have a choice in the matter. We can either suck it up and do the thing we don't want to do, or we can choose not to. We can give up.

But the thing is, I think that if we give into our feelings on the short term scale, we rob ourselves of happiness and joy in the long run. If we force ourselves to face things we don't want to do head on and get past that "hump", then we will reach our goals.

Romans 5:3 says, "3Not only so, but we[b] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope."

Sometimes it sucks to have to go against your feelings; to train when you don't feel like it. It sucks even more to face difficult situations in life that we'd rather avoid. But when we face these mental challenges head on, keeping our goals in sight, I think we will find that our minds and spirits will grow in the same way that our muscles grow from a steady routine of exercise.

It's all in how you look at it. Learn to love the pain, both in the gym and out of it. It will make you stronger.