Just Keep Moving

Have you ever had a grapple where you sat down and instantly you knew you were about to get trounced? Yeah...that happened to me the other night. Fabio told me to grapple Ben, one of the brown belts at our school, and as soon as I sat down across from him, I could tell by his facial expression that I was about to go "through it".

Ben didn't hurt me. But the roll was far from our usual relaxed, experimental flowing. The intensity was cranked up a notch. The sad thing (for me) is that he wasn't even going all out. He was just going at a level higher than I could adjust to.

And so, I spent most of the grapple defending. In fact, defending isn't even the right word. Scrambling is more like it. It felt like I couldn't get anywhere. I tried to go one way, it was blocked. I tried to go another way and ended up in a worse spot than before.

I remember thinking mid-grapple, "Just keep moving. Stay calm and just do what you can do."

I knew that my technique would not be enough to match Ben's. But all I could do was keep moving and do the things I knew how to do. The only other options would be to flail around randomly (in which case I would likely get submitted more) or quit (which was not going to happen. ;) ).

As I suspected, my best was not enough. I got submitted several times. But I did survive (thanks for not killing me, Ben. ;P). More importantly, though, the grapple made it abundantly clear where my biggest weak points were. I walked away a little bruised (especially in the region of my ego), but knowing what I needed to work on.

Lately, my life has been like that grapple with Ben. I feel like I've got no room to move and every move I make seems to put me in a worse position than I was before. But I have to keep moving. All I can do is make decisions based off of what I know to be right and true and to have faith that God will carry me through. Maybe I'll come out on the other side a little roughed up. But hopefully I will also come out with a better sense of what my strengths and weaknesses are and where I need to improve.

Sometimes the most difficult grapples can teach you the most. And likewise, some of the most challenging situations in life can bring you to a point of brokenness, where it becomes painfully clear just how much you still have left to learn.

When you get to that point, you have three choices. You can complain and get mad at the difficulty. You can become depressed and pity the wretched failure that think that you are. Or you can take stock and say, "This is where I need work. So let's get working."